Today in class we discussed a variety of theories and the ways they look at forms of media. Specifically the outcomes of what media can have on a person or society and what hidden reasoning lies beneath the surface. One of the theories is called Uses and Gratifications. Basically, you watch a television show or movie because you are trying to fill a need that you have for yourself. It can either be to hide behind a relationship with someone in the show, or to deal with some traumatic emotional situation.
This really got me thinking about why I find myself so hooked and obsessing over certain TV series or being in the mood to watch a specific chick-flick. There have been times in my life where the dating game has not gone too well, and instead of dealing with the "real life boys," I focus in on a relationship that is developing between characters somewhere else. There's always the classic Nicholas Sparks movies that we are all dying to watch when we want to see the sappy (and predictable) love between a couple. And when you just can't seem to find the perfect man, we resort to watching Pride & Prejudice, and fall back in love with Darcy. A problem that comes from this sort of "obsession" with finding fictitious love in media, is that we then get an unrealistic view of how it is in real life. And yet, we still fill our time with searching for romance inside the media. The media industry has gotten their hands wrapped around the emotions of women, and quite frankly its difficult to fight against them.
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It's such a true thought that media really does have such an influence on our expectations when it comes to relationships. It can be so dangerous to compare our lives with those we see in movies. I guess that may be a reason why it's important to have moderation in the media so movies and tv shows don't become our reality.
Yeah, why is it so easy for us to fall back to the safety of chick flicks? Is it because then we can watch their struggles and then victory, and call it good? It's almost like we experience love triumphs vicariously through the media, leaving us without any more motivation or drive to fight for that victory in our own life. It's hard to find that balance of escaping via a movie or TV show vs actually taking command of what is going on in our real world.
It's interesting reading this and looking at it at a guy's point of view. If only we were as romantic as the guys on TV and in those movies...maybe one day...but as you said, it's not realistic. But we can always hope, unless it's not healthy, then we shouldn't...
I love this! It's so funny and so true. And once we fall back in love with the "Darcy's" of the media, it makes it hard for the men in the real world to live up to the fictitious knight in shining armor. It makes me start to think about what my motive might be to watch the other shows I obsess over...
Well said Annie, I agree! There can be harm when we choose to obsess or feel love through our parasocial friends, and because more often than not the characters are too generalized or simplified or have incredible traits, we may end up hurting what we think of those around us (especially boys) and even ourselves. I have found that a healthy dose of chick-flicks or television shows is when we can take the good feelings away from for a time (learn a good message), but not allowing ourselves to want what they have.
Thanks for sharing Annie!
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